Making tracks….o

In more senses than one….

We’ve had 80ml of rain just this week and close to 250ml so far this month.

To say it’s a tad soggy underfoot wouldn’t be an exaggeration.

The cases of trench-foot in the region are skyrocketing…

This dimwit thought it would be a GOOD IDEA to drive across the paddock to deliver some equestrian nibbles to yesterday’s dandelions.

Good Samurai happened to be passing and it’s to the rescue, yet again.

Too much for Fergie this time – needs a bulldozer.

The small one.

Patrick has 2.

Of course he has 2.

Doesn’t everyone…?

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I think these sculptures are by Jane Downes – they’re very similar to ones we saw at Headland Sculpture on the Gulf on Waiheke in 2015.

Get to see these walking around the inlet foreshore track kindly provided by our neighbourly landowner.

Plus a replica of our cottage as an equestrian tack shed. (The farm manager came over during the build to confirm that our roof colour is Mist Green. It is)

Now, “dandelion” is one of those words that drifts linguistically back and forwards across the German- French border.

In German, it’s “Löwenzahn” – lion’s tooth – from the shape of the leaf.

In French, it’s dent de lion – lion’s tooth – which drifted into English at some stage. (Read Bill Bryson’s “The Mother Tongue” – he’ll surely have an explanation)

The French also call it pis en lit – piss in the bed – for its diuretic properties.

So there you just do go….

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We got 80mm overnight and  – from what our young neighbour Sam says, having observed the river going over the floodgates – the catchment area of the Waimea river appears to have got even more.

Which all ends up in the estuary, along with hay bales, uprooted trees and about an inch of topsoil.

This was pretty much close to high tide at the inlet today – saltwater pushing in one way from Tasman Bay and sediment-saturated freshwater pushing its way to the ocean.

The latter appears to have won the battle for now – the whole estuary is the hue of milky coffee….


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“Through the hole in the hedge…”

Sounds suspiciously like “Alice in Wonderland” and the rabbit hole business, but people have been known to reappear through it at Berrylands on the Appleby Highway.

But the REAL reason to go there is for their real fruit ice-creams.

The size of a small child’s head and costing a mere $4.50, they’re made on the spot by pouring frozen berries into a hopper followed by a substantial scoop of icecream (or yogurt, 50c surcharge) which is then blended by a spiral auger thingy and extruded into a cone.

Simple as, and originally built out of 4 x 2s and No 8 fencing wire if my recollections are correct….

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What???! No beetroot???!!!


Hamish’s cafe on Mapua wharf is now serving burgers.

They charge an extra dollar for beetroot.

That’s because Tracey, the owner, is a Pom.

You would have thought that by now she’d know that beetroot is a core component of EVERY PROPER HAMBURGER IN NEW ZEALAND.

I mentioned this to her the other day and she said that some people don’t like beetroot.

I told her that they weren’t Kiwis, then..

The fish and chip shop nestled between Moutere Gold and the store in Upper Moutere Village has the right idea.

Even if they can’t spell “caramelised”….

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Not to mention a 4 star garden….

Our friends Cameron and Maria own and operate the exquisite Tasman Bay Cottage.

In fact, that’s how we met them in 2006.

Their cottage is as classy as, but their garden leaves you breathless.

They’ve now been recognised by the New Zealand Garden Trust as one of the leading gardens of the region and the only private garden in that category.

And to think that it started off as a bare paddock 21 years ago..

PS The potter is Steve Fullmer, btw…

Photo credits: Chocolate Dog Studio, Mapua

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Dear Tasman District Council…

I waited for a good 20 minutes but no people were oncoming.

I know that I probably broke some by-law by proceeding, but it was chucking it down like a cow p1ssing on a flat rock, so I pretended that people were in fact oncoming, gave them a robust “Gdayhowzitgoinshitweatheraye” just in case (got a weird look from the non-oncoming sheep, have to say..) and proceeded directly to Nelson hospital, where I ‘m now recovering from pneumonia.

The doctors reckon that if people hadn’t been oncoming for another 10 minutes or so and had I not shown such presence of mind, I’d have been a goner…

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